Minxie Winksie's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Interracial Dating

The more I tried online dating, the more I became open-minded.  Take Mr. Small and Mighty.  He listed himself as a 37-year-old, 5’7” Caucasian man…no children mentioned.  His picture was okay and he was shorter than I usually like men to be, but I gave him a chance.

His stats:

Lived in one of the toughest neighborhoods in the area for years

Dates only African-American women, or Puerto Ricans

Worker at Fed Ex for 17 years

Has a son who’s 17

5’6” (barely)

Drives a Lexus (not that this matters)

He’s a really nice guy, but just not my type.  He’s not as outgoing as me…he’s quite, reserved but still high-strung.  But, somehow we made it to 3, that’s THREE, dates.  I don’t even know how, but I think both of us wanted to feel the other one out.  We’re both a little standoffish/shy and I think that has made us take things really slow…

But like I said he’s not my type, so on the last and last date the kiss had to seal the deal.  It was actually less of a kiss, more of a tongue lashing.  He dropped me off at my apartment and I took him inside of my doorway for some privacy.  I knew it was coming and I thought: ‘I haven’t felt any attraction, no spark with him.  If I don’t feel anything for him after this kiss, then I’ll cut it off.’  He pulled me into a hug, drew back and then pulled me close and kissed me.  My lips aren’t big, but his are minuscule.  So my mouth enveloped his, his tongue shot into mine and then went to town burrowing it’s way to my frickin’ tonsils.  He must have been into it because his hands grabbed my butt, pulled me even closer and continued mauling my mouth with his tongue.  Luckily it didn’t last long.  He must have really liked the kiss because he texted me to say hello after I got out of work the next day.

Unfortunately, I didn’t.  He’s a nice guy, who’s done a lot for his kid, but he’s not for me. 

NEXT!!!!

;D

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One thing I noticed about most online dating sites…and I’ve tried some of the “best” (Match.com, Yahoo Personals), is that there aren’t that many Black men there.  I should really say there are very few who are compatible with me and are interested.  Why would a Black man need to go on an online dating site to meet Black women?  They can talk to/hit on/ask us out any day they want.  The Black men I see on these sites are looking for anything but.

SO…

I am PROUD to be a card-carrying member of the “Date Whomever I Want” Club.  Really, I’ve been a member since I was a kid.  Growing up in a Jewish suburb, a mostly Jewish school, a church where there was only ten African-American families out of several hundred Caucasians…I was bound to date outside of my race.  My first boyfriend was white, as well as the second, third, fourth, etc.  When I think back on all of my legitimate boyfriends (those who I was in an actual relationship and not just “going out”), they’ve all been White. 

And it’s not by choice!  I am NOT a traitor.  I do NOT prefer Caucasian men.  I DO have a very strong attraction to MANY Black men.  Those fine Black men from my area, the ones with the college educations, no kids (there are very few), a good job and a reliable car…WITH all their bills paid for each month…they don’t ask me out.  They’d rather date White women.  And I really can’t be mad at them for that…that would make me a hypocrite.  Still, it would be nice for one of them to take interest.

I think it’s because my parents never discouraged me, even though they never tried to fool me by saying love is blind.  They also never tried to lie to me by saying the perfect Black man, who’s just like my daddy, would love me forever, marry me and give me children.  Because my parents looked at our mostly White world and saw I had, and still have, very few options. 

If I look for someone who is eloquent, educated, strong-willed, and resilient like my father, grandfather and my uncles, and not care what color the guy is then I will give myself the best chance of finding that everlasting love.  So if a nice non-African American guy asks me out or says he wants to get to know me…who am I to deny someone who could potentially be my husband and make me happy?

😉


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