Minxie Winksie's Blog

Archive for the ‘Match.com’ Category

 When you throw a guy away, sometimes he comes back and pursues you with a vengeance.

I threw away Mr. B last year after we hit it off on Match.com and in a weeks’ time it tanked.  At first we had some quirky and funny conversations that turned awkward, and then straight-up weird.  I think he was overly cautious and afraid of dating again, even though he put up a good front by joking about an ex-girlfriend that put him through the ringer.  He might have also been cautious because he never dated outside of his race, but I looked sweet so he wanted to get to know me.  (Yay me…)

A lot of good that did because by the time we hit the “What’s your idea of a perfect date?” question, he said we weren’t a match and jumped ship.  I was shocked because that wasn’t the case, but I could tell he was…scared.  (I could go on and on about the color issue being the reason he was scared, but I’ve run into the “I’ve never dated a Black woman” type so much that it doesn’t faze me anymore and it isn’t worth going on a rant.)

We end up meeting again at a local Giant where we both have part-time jobs.  He works in produce, and I’m contracted by an outside company to do food surveys.  I didn’t know what to expect from him more than 6 months later so I avoided eye contact or even being in the same air space, and acted like he didn’t exist.  I know, real mature…  But what would you do if someone just cut you off like that without really getting to know you, AND THEN you ran into them at a sort of mutual job? 

He was hesitant at first, but by the second time my survey company came to the store (about a month later), he emailed me and acted like he didn’t remember why we stopped talking and wanted us to be friends.  I saw this going two ways: We really get to know each other this time and it could move into something more OR We get to know each other and decide that friendship is best.

We’ll have to see…either way my guard is on full alert with the lights flashing and crazed security dogs!

Eharmony has been such a waste of money.  Even as I sit here looking at the email notifications of possible matches that pop up on my phone, I don’t care.  Those emails, an average of 5 a day, will amount to nothing.  They’re nothing more than a water-downed, generic and computer generated version of who my “match” is and they’re always several hours away from me.

I’m tired…of online dating.  I’m tired of the beginning of something, knowing it will turn into nothing.  I’m tired of the long process, not that I liked the fast one Match.com offers. 

I’m even tired of dates!  I don’t want to get dressed up for some guy I barely know just so he can internally scrutinize my body and not hear a word I say.  AND, I’m tired of scrutinizing men right back.

I’m tired of meeting men with so much baggage they couldn’t fit it on a UPS plane!

I could go on, but I think you get my drift, right?

I feel like I’ve run a marathon of the online date sites over the last two years, and I’m over the process.  It’s absolute torture for someone who is social and outgoing like me. 

But, online dating has done one good thing for me.  It has running and screaming to any populated place of interest for me: poetry nights, open mic nights, art galleries, wine tastings, bars, etc.  Anywhere I can go, I have been going…even by myself (except to bars, that’s just creepy). 

And, I realized I find solace in being around people.  I am a people person, and online dating was keeping me so busy that I wasn’t able to be myself.  In less than a month I can do that 24-7!  I’ll be free…to date whoever I want, whenever I want, without having my computer on my lap.  Woooooohooooo!!!

😉

I never thought this would be possible, but guys can use Eharmony to line up dates…just like at the Match.com Meat Market. 

Green Day contacted me last week still giving me the sob story that he was oh so sorry he cancelled on me at the last moment two weekends ago and he wanted to make it up to me.  I should’ve told him to take his spiky hair, tattoos, good boy/bad boy-watered down rocker persona and take a hike.  But no…I decided to be nicer than he deserved.  I let him feed me the same bull as last time…he’d contact me later on in the week, he’d drive down to see me, we’d go wherever I wanted to go and blah, blah, blah.  Well, don’t you know that he did it again?!  He made plans and promises that he knew he’d never keep.  When I didn’t hear from him for two days, I knew.  And, I haven’t heard from him since.

I can’t really say I’m surprised though.  But I never thought Eharmony would be one of those sites where guys can try to line up date after date, and have backups.  This is why Eharmony has the recommended communication guidelines.  They’re meant to weed out the serial daters.  So all of you Eharmony daters, if someone wants to skip the guidelines and just “get down to business,” stop and ask yourself why.  Chances are they haven’t paid attention to your profile and don’t really care about the fabulous person you are.  Now, if you just want to get down to business too…then go for it…Just remember, the guy most likely has several other girls lined up that want the “business” too.

Pat on the back for me for having common sense and not falling for another loser!  I’m on my way to finding real love!!!

😉


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