Minxie Winksie's Blog

I Wish I Wasn’t So Stalker Worthy

Posted on: February 22, 2011

Ohhhhh the life we single women have to lead…

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to enjoy the company of my best friend, her husband and about six of her husband’s co-workers at this swanky, tan and cobalt blue color coordinated club.  I came fresh off a date that had to be cut short, and I wasn’t happy about it.  I was sizzling’ hot, so a little come-hither guy therapy was definitely in order.  Unfortunately, I got the wrong guy.

Before I knew he was married, I did think he was cute.  He’s a cross between Eminem (because of his looks) and Bill Murray (because of his humor).  He’s employed, pays his taxes, has a child he takes care…and would be a good match for me if he wasn’t a horrible drunk and MARRIED.  Of course, the last two parts took him out of the running.  But I wasn’t.  He proceeded to sit on my lap in his drunken stupor, I giggled because this is harmless.  At least until he started rubbing my leg and whispered that no one would know.  When I got away from him he slurred it was because he’s white, which I assured him wasn’t true.  It’s because he’s MARRIED and refused to act like he didn’t. 

Just my luck I was jammed between him and my way-past-drunk best friend all night.  She wasn’t the only one not to notice him caressing my knee, which I tried to ignore.  When he pinched my elbow; I glared.   When he said I hated him and I should slit his wrists; I had it.  So I lied to my drunken best friend that we were going dancing and yanked her into the bathroom for some girl talk.  When we got back, Mr. Married Stalker had been forced into a corner by his friends who had been paying attention the whole time (thanks for the “too little, too late” actions guys).  I went back to my seat, started flirting with his single, sober and very cute friend and tried to ignore him while he gave me the sad puppy face, glared and mouthed: “Why do you hate me?”

I cringe at the thought of having to see Mr. Married Stalker again, but it’s inevitable…Ugh.


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