Minxie Winksie's Blog

Keeping My Options Open

Posted on: March 12, 2010

One thing I noticed about most online dating sites…and I’ve tried some of the “best” (Match.com, Yahoo Personals), is that there aren’t that many Black men there.  I should really say there are very few who are compatible with me and are interested.  Why would a Black man need to go on an online dating site to meet Black women?  They can talk to/hit on/ask us out any day they want.  The Black men I see on these sites are looking for anything but.

SO…

I am PROUD to be a card-carrying member of the “Date Whomever I Want” Club.  Really, I’ve been a member since I was a kid.  Growing up in a Jewish suburb, a mostly Jewish school, a church where there was only ten African-American families out of several hundred Caucasians…I was bound to date outside of my race.  My first boyfriend was white, as well as the second, third, fourth, etc.  When I think back on all of my legitimate boyfriends (those who I was in an actual relationship and not just “going out”), they’ve all been White. 

And it’s not by choice!  I am NOT a traitor.  I do NOT prefer Caucasian men.  I DO have a very strong attraction to MANY Black men.  Those fine Black men from my area, the ones with the college educations, no kids (there are very few), a good job and a reliable car…WITH all their bills paid for each month…they don’t ask me out.  They’d rather date White women.  And I really can’t be mad at them for that…that would make me a hypocrite.  Still, it would be nice for one of them to take interest.

I think it’s because my parents never discouraged me, even though they never tried to fool me by saying love is blind.  They also never tried to lie to me by saying the perfect Black man, who’s just like my daddy, would love me forever, marry me and give me children.  Because my parents looked at our mostly White world and saw I had, and still have, very few options. 

If I look for someone who is eloquent, educated, strong-willed, and resilient like my father, grandfather and my uncles, and not care what color the guy is then I will give myself the best chance of finding that everlasting love.  So if a nice non-African American guy asks me out or says he wants to get to know me…who am I to deny someone who could potentially be my husband and make me happy?

😉

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5 Responses to "Keeping My Options Open"

“Those fine Black men from my area, the ones with the college educations, no kids (there are very few), a good job and a reliable car…WITH all their bills paid for each month…they don’t ask me out.”

SOOOOO true. It’s like you took the words right out of my brain.

Sad, huh? I feel kind of let down, you know? Dating Black men should come easy! It shouldn’t be this hard!

[…] spare time for. My friend Shelby wrote a nice blog post about what I’m feeling right now. Check it out… I swear she stole the thoughts right out of my […]

Interesting post…good luck! I just started Eharmony as well and have been told it’s one of the better online dating sites.

Thank you! My first meet up is Sunday and I’m getting communication everyday, so hopefully something will work out!

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